The moment I read the symtoms of bipolar disorder, I know, "That's the one". I never go for a diagnose, because in my country it's a luxury to access mental health or people would think 'you must be trying to escape your duty by claiming a mental illness', or worse, people think I am going to murder them. Maybe the psychiatrist can't even distinguish between depression and bipolar disorder. I never like the country I am in now ever since I arrived. I will leave one day for sure.

I am self-centred and I enjoy it a lot. I believe a lot of bipolar people love indulging in their own thoughts, emotions or analyse themselves. Of course, great pleasure is accompanied by great pain, when you can't withdraw..but do you realise you feel high when the pain strikes you and you indulge in your pain. Your lover betrayed you. You would keep recalling over and over how bad your lover treated you, feel the pain and also...the pleasure when you finally turned your anger on your lover and revenged on your lover, and you are sensitive enough to know exactly what would hurt him/her the best.

Not only bipolar people feel that way, isn't it? But surely bipolar people would enjoy and suffer a lot.

Bipolar disorder torments me, but it's also a gift for me to appreciate things the way people don't, see the things a lot of people don't see, see beauty in something other don't see, and it drives me to work continuously when I am in the manic...but I must say I am lucky because my preference is inclined to choose the productive work instead of drug abuse or stupid investment protfolios.