Pleasure of pendulum

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Eccentric Personality Disorders: Paranoid, Schizoid, Schizotypal
Individuals with these disorders often appear odd or peculiar.
Paranoid Personality Disorder - individual generally tends to interpret the actions of others as threatening.
Schizoid Personality Disorder - individual generally detached from social relationships, and shows a narrow range of emotional expression in various social settings.
Schizotypal Personality Disorder - individual is uncomfortable in close relationships, has thought or perceptual distortions, and peculiarities of behavior.

Dramatic Personality Disorders: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic, and Narcissistic
Individuals with these disorders have intense, unstable emotions, distorted self-perception, and/or behavioral impulsiveness.
Antisocial Personality Disorder - individual shows a pervasive disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others.
Borderline Personality Disorder - individual shows a generalized pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and observable emotions, and significant impulsiveness.
Histrionic Personality Disorder - individual often displays excessive emotionality and attention seeking in various contexts. They tend to overreact to other people, and are often perceived as shallow and self-centered.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder - individual has a grandiose view of themselves, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy that begins by early adulthood and is present in various situations. These individuals are very demanding in their relationships.

Anxious Personality Disorders: Avoidant, Dependent, Obsessive-Compulsive
Individuals with these disorders often appear anxious or fearful.
Avoidant Personality Disorder -individual is socially inhibited, feels inadequate, and is oversensitive to criticism
Dependent Personality Disorder - individual shows an extreme need to be taken care of that leads to fears of separation, and passive and clinging behavior.
Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder - individual is preoccupied with orderliness, perfectionism, and control at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency.

Personality Disorder Test Results
Paranoid |||||||||||||| 58%
Schizoid |||||||||||||||| 70%
Schizotypal |||||||||||||||| 62%
Antisocial |||||||||||||||| 62%
Borderline |||||||||||||||| 62%
Histrionic |||||||||||| 50%
Narcissistic |||||||||||| 46%
Avoidant |||||||||||||||| 70%
Dependent |||||||||||| 46%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||| 50%
Take Free Personality Disorder Test
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The moment I read the symtoms of bipolar disorder, I know, "That's the one". I never go for a diagnose, because in my country it's a luxury to access mental health or people would think 'you must be trying to escape your duty by claiming a mental illness', or worse, people think I am going to murder them. Maybe the psychiatrist can't even distinguish between depression and bipolar disorder. I never like the country I am in now ever since I arrived. I will leave one day for sure.

I am self-centred and I enjoy it a lot. I believe a lot of bipolar people love indulging in their own thoughts, emotions or analyse themselves. Of course, great pleasure is accompanied by great pain, when you can't withdraw..but do you realise you feel high when the pain strikes you and you indulge in your pain. Your lover betrayed you. You would keep recalling over and over how bad your lover treated you, feel the pain and also...the pleasure when you finally turned your anger on your lover and revenged on your lover, and you are sensitive enough to know exactly what would hurt him/her the best.

Not only bipolar people feel that way, isn't it? But surely bipolar people would enjoy and suffer a lot.

Bipolar disorder torments me, but it's also a gift for me to appreciate things the way people don't, see the things a lot of people don't see, see beauty in something other don't see, and it drives me to work continuously when I am in the manic...but I must say I am lucky because my preference is inclined to choose the productive work instead of drug abuse or stupid investment protfolios.